Tonight I am going through some texts I wrote long long time ago, when I was still living in my home country. I was first shocked, then I started to smile and now I feel kind of reassured. Reassured of what? I couldn`t tell.
Long story short, it all felt so different back then! The people I was seeing, the life scenes I was partaking, having my family close, the road trips during the weekend, the sea, the Danube Delta, the countryside. Everything rough, everything genuine.
Have you ever wondered why your friends living abroad tell you that “it`s great, you should come as well?” You actually think they want to share this greatness with you (following the pattern that “all is better when shared”) or is there some other reason behind?
Life in the Netherlands – compared to life in Romania, at least – is better from many aspects. It is actually better from all objective reasons I can think of. But, at the same time, there are just so many things that are missing. And it`s exactly that state of roughness, of the un-processed that is missing the most. Life is better, but not so genuine as it feels back home.
This is not because the Dutch are bad or because there is something wrong with their culture etc. It`s because your roots (my roots) are home.
Meeting expats is nice, there is a lot of exchange and learning involved. But you will still hear your friends living abroad – even if surrounded by a crowd of happy shiny people – telling you that “you should come!”.
Fact is, when you live somewhere else than where you were born and your old friends and family are still living back home, you will always feel that you are missing something. Could be a birthday party, a wedding, the first steps of a friend`s baby, but, most of the times, it`s exactly those uninteresting moments that you will miss the most, such as walking home in the company of your best friend and talking nonsense. To give just an example.
I have been told to come here and I have told some people to come here as well. But I have to admit I did this for me just as much as for them. Of course they would have benefited from the whole experience, but I would have had some benefits as well. 🙂
Another hint to support my theory: why do expats of a certain nationality make best friends with expats of the same nationality?
And yet another one: why are all expats so happy when they go home to see their family and friends?